I think I’m too old for marathons. Every time I feel like I might be able to pluck up my strength and do one, I think of the time and effort I’d be spending, and I just lose all courage.
When I was younger, these things didn’t seem as intimidating. I just had to get off to a good start, and somehow, I’d be able to convince myself along the way that it would be worth it at the end. I didn’t check the time, I didn’t pause for breaks – I just kept going. And that was enough. On rare occasions, I could even do it without realising how much effort I was expending, because I was actually enjoying myself.
These days, even if I do get the courage to try, I don’t get far before realising I’m doomed. It’s just so much harder, you know? I tire more easily, my attention wanders quickly and I lose focus, and the end goal just doesn’t seem as worth it. What am I really going to achieve in the end? Nothing, really. A sense of achievement, maybe, but at what cost? At what cost?
I know you have to train for this stuff – you can’t just get up one morning and decide you’re going to do it. You need to condition your body and your mind and actually prepare for it in advance. But, honestly, who has the time for that these days? With 12-hour work days, and weekends jam-packed with social activities (without which we’d be robots, completely devoid of human connection), where are you supposed to find time for yourself?
A lot of people suggest including a friend in the process – someone to train with, to encourage and be encouraged by, especially during the rough patches, and to generally have fun with. And yes, I do see the merits, but man, sometimes you just want to be by yourself, you know? You don’t want to have to talk to anyone, and there’s just no nice way to stop in the middle of a marathon and tell your really chatty friend to “just shut up and let me do this in peace”. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, so I just don’t even try to get into it with other people.
At this point, I just have to accept the ugly truth – I just can’t do marathons any more. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s the mindset, but that’s how it is.
Sorry, dearest TV show. I’ll just have to watch you one episode at a time like all the other mere mortals.
P.S.: Speaking of marathons, we’re just about halfway through this one! Anyone feeling the burn yet? 😀