J is for Judging

I didn’t invent the term “Judgy McJudgerson”, but it’s one of my favourite ways to call people out on being overly judgemental. Like everyone else, I hate being judged, so I try not to do the same thing to others, and calling people out on their judgemental behaviour is one way I try to get others not to do it, either.

The thing is, most of us don’t even know when we’re being judgemental – it’s just an automatic reaction. We’re all human and a part of being human is the need for conformity. It’s just easier to like and agree with people who think and do things the same way we do, and to question or look down upon those who do it differently. Of course, when it comes to issues involving questions of morality, judgement takes on a different purpose, but I’m talking about the little things that make us side-eye people for absolutely no reason. Despite most of us being decent human beings, often, the tendency to judge come faster than we can consciously stop it.

I was initially going to make a post about the silly things I judge people for and how it really is silly that I do it, but then I decided that I’m just perpetrating a practice I’m consciously trying to get rid of myself. People around me are always doing things that rub me the wrong way or just irritate me, but often, they have nothing to do with me and shouldn’t really bother me anyway. Making a list of it doesn’t do anyone any good. Instead, I thought I’d share a couple of ways we can all try and be a little less judgy and maybe make the world just a little nicer.

One of the things I try to do when I come across something that I’m annoyed by is take a deep breath and remind myself that I’m constantly being judged by others myself, and if I actually heard the things people judged me for, I’d get really, really angry. “What the hell is your problem?”, I’d ask. And then I’d just feel terrible, whether or not the judgement was justified. I imagine the person I’m judging feeling the same way, and I’m able to make the decision not to be the kind of person who makes someone else feel bad.

The second thing I remind myself is that every single person has a life of which I’m only a very small part. There’s no way I’m going to know what’s happening in the parts that I don’t see, and that without the full picture, I’m drawing quick, hasty conclusions that might not actually be true. Whatever it is that’s irritating me – it may be a one-off incident, the person may be having a bad day, there might be a reason for it. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.

The last thing I try and do is remind myself that I don’t have to be bothered by every single thing happening around me. If I’m directly and majorly affected by something, I have every right to make my feelings known, but otherwise, I’m just stirring the pot for no reason. On the internet, if you don’t like something, you’re asked to “keep scrolling”. No one’s asking me to stop and take something personally, or have it offend my delicate sensibilities. I always have the choice to ignore it, and if I can’t think of something nice to say or do, I’m better off not saying anything at all. I just need to keep scrolling.

The best thing about curbing my judgy tendencies is that it makes MY life better. I’m happier because, in general, my thoughts are less negative and I’m less frustrated by the things other people do. And hey, isn’t that something worth working for?

What are some ways you try not to judge others? Share! 🙂

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6 thoughts on “J is for Judging

  1. Poornakatha April 13, 2015 / 11:19 am

    I did J for Judging too! I thought I had some sort of a handle over my judgemental tendencies.. Till I became a parent. I uncovered a whole new pot of prejudices inside me. Thinking of how to deal with them

    • Clueless April 13, 2015 / 11:21 am

      Haha, I think my sister-in-law would agree with you – being a parent seems to open up the field a lot more in terms of things to judge people for!

  2. GlassHalfWhat? April 12, 2015 / 3:04 pm

    Spot on! Not judging others makes your own life much less negative. I don’t have a decent handle on it yet, but I know that when I truly empathise, then I don’t feel the need to make a judgement. So, I feel like extending my empathy is the key!

    • Clueless April 12, 2015 / 9:10 pm

      Absolutely! I agree completely.

  3. peeves April 12, 2015 / 1:26 am

    Lovely post. Completely agree about how the lack of judgement makes our life so much better. I deal with my judgemental self by telling myself that that judgement comes from a place of insecurity, and trying to move on :).

    • Clueless April 12, 2015 / 9:11 pm

      Agreed! Insecurity is a big part of why we judge, so it’s worth taking a look inwards and see what’s causing the actual problem.

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