It’s 4 o’ clock in the afternoon and I’m sitting in my hostel room in the dark. Dark, because it is pouring buckets outside and there’s no sign of the sun anywhere. It is thundering, and the rain shows no signs of ceasing for a good few hours, at the very least. I have a 5000 word report and a presentation worth a huge chunk of my grade due in less than two weeks. I have another presentation tomorrow that’s not particularly going well because I’m not really getting along with my project-mates. Me, who’s usually the first person to make friends with random strangers. I have a test three days after the huge report/presentation combo I’ve mentioned above, for which I haven’t done any studying and won’t be able to till the presentation is over. I have four big books left to read for my literature module, one of which I should already have completed by now. (I haven’t started.) If I was so inclined, I would be able to come up with a humongous list of things I have left to do.
Yet, right now, at this very moment, sitting in my dark room, listening to a combination of Seal’s “Kiss from a Rose” on my iTunes and the sound of the rain pattering against my window, I’m the most peaceful I’ve been all semester. I’m in my room at 4 in the afternoon, instead of in lab, working my ass off on a project that seems to be going nowhere. I’m watching the rain through my room windows, instead of being cooped up inside the lab. I’m listening to music, instead of the stone-cold silence of the lab. And somehow, despite the enormous amount of work pending and the unending frustrations life keeps throwing my way, I’m finally feeling at peace with the world. I’m finally feeling at peace with myself.
MG messaged me from somewhere in the Arts faculty to say how “divine” she felt the weather was, and how brilliant it was that she could finally enjoy time between lectures, the way it was meant to be enjoyed. And I realized – it takes something as simple as being able to watch the rain from my room (or from a breezy bench in the Arts faculty, in MG’s case) instead of being in lab all day, to put a little joy in life. Isn’t that surprising? We’ve both experienced rainy days before. We both had two years in university during which we didn’t have to go to lab everyday. And yet, it took some really bad experiences to help us truly appreciate something as simple as being able to enjoy a bit of time between lectures and watch the rain.
Life’s sucky. I’ve come to realize that no matter how much I hope the future will be less sucky, it will most likely suck even more. That no matter how much I hope work-life will bring some sort of relief from the depression of studies, it will probably bring with it other miseries.
And you know, that’s alright. Life can’t always be bright and shiny. It can’t always bring sunny days and warm weather. There will be ups and downs, there will be rain. And after it rains, the sun will come out. And it will feel that much warmer, that much more beautiful after the downpour. We need the bad to help us appreciate the good.
So sometimes, we just need to look out the window and enjoy the rain. For what it is, and for what it promises to bring. It’ll make getting through the hard times that much easier.
P.S: Ironically enough, Rihanna’s “Umbrella” just started playing on my iTunes. Coincidence? You tell me. 😛
P.P.S: The view outside my window, just because it’s pretty and because I can finally prove that my phone camera doesn’t totally suck.