Oh, irony. Oh cruel, cruel irony. How you torture me so.
So my exam results came out yesterday. Remember when I said I was really, really scared this time around that I’d do really bad? Well, turns out I needn’t have been that scared – I didn’t do badly at all. I didn’t do great either, but the fact remains that I scared everyone into believing I could end up toeing the pass/fail line and I didn’t. (Thus resulting in many people chastising me for the “unnecessary drama queen act” – sheesh!)
So, yeah. Phew. Thought I’d do miserably. Didn’t. End of story.
Ha. You’d think. Life is never really that simple, is it? A close analysis of (read: one glance at) my grades throughout my university life so far will reveal a fascinating pattern. I tend to do better at modules I’m not required to do than at the ones that are compulsory for my major. In other words, I ace every Arts module I take and do miserably in my core Science modules. But that’s not all! This semester, the cruel cruel irony mentioned above decided to be … er, cruel to me by making sure I got my very first A+ in a Science module (to my great delight), but one which did not come under my area of specialization.
I’m therefore being reminded time and again that I absolutely suck at choices and do not really know myself at all. Either that, or I did something really bad in my previous life and The Guy Up There is making me pay for it.
Me: I choose to do Life Sciences in university!
Guy Up There: Here you go, A grades in all your Arts modules!
Me: I choose to specialize in BioMedical Sciences!
Guy Up There: A+ for your only non-BMS module! *beams evilly*
I feel like the anti-Chandler. You know, that episode in which he takes dozens and dozens of aptitude tests and realizes he’s actually doing the job he’s most suited for? In my case, it feels like the more number of tests I take, the more I realize I don’t belong. What am I doing wrong? Is it an inability to do well in the things I choose to do, or is it an inability to choose the right stuff to do in the first place?
I’m not perturbed, really. I’m just … perplexed. One of life’s many mysteries, eh? But I guess in these situations, one just goes on trying. Experimentation – maybe that will work. Try out different things, see what happens.
I’m so switching tracks once I’m done with university.