Having just watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, the pirate in me (fondly known to some as Captain Lazy Gracey) has to say –
“Arr! Me eyeballs, they’re poppin’ outta ’em sockets, mate!”
(Spoilers for the movie follow, so if you’ve not watched it yet, I’d advice you to skip this post for the time being.)
– PotC3 is one of those movies that just screams “theatre-watch”. The action, the special effects, the costumes, the make-up and pretty faces blown up to huge proportions all make the movie nothing short of a visual treat. My eyes approve.
– Johnny Depp must’ve been a pirate in his previous life, because he’s just tailor-made for the role of Jack Sparrow. His relatively small screen-time in the movie (his first appearance is about half an hour into the movie) is sort of compensated by the presence of multiple Jack copies (all just as funny as the original) in quite a few scenes. A miniature Jack Sparrow hanging on to the beard-thingy of a life-size Jack Sparrow cannot not be funny.
– Keira Knightley generally annoys the hell out of me (and I realize this may be my “Hatred of Leading Ladies” syndrome speaking), but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t hold her close-ups really well. Girl’s got one of the cleanest, clearest faces I’ve seen in a while. Curses.
– Not to be outdone, Orlando Bloom cruises through the movie just as prettily, holding his close-ups just as well. And while I completely dislike long hair on men, I must grudgingly admit that Bloom rocks the haggard, long-haired, dirty-faced look. Damn those pretty men!
– Depp’s (or rather, his nose’s) close-up has the added advantage of freckles. And as far as I’m concerned, nose freckles = sexy! (And yes, there are an awful number of close-ups in the movie. The director sure made full use of his pretty cast, huh?)
– Tia Dalma’s accent is awesome, even if it is a bit hard to understand at times. (Bonus points if Naomie Harris has a completely normal accent in real life, which I’m sure she does.)
– Barbossa’s back, and he’s fantastic. Welcome back, mate!
– Much love for Davy Jones. Apart from having the prettiest blue eyes ever, his squiggly tentacles fascinate me endlessly. (Especially considering the actor who plays him looks like the most normal person ever.)
– Chow Yun Fat’s role isn’t really all that great, and it barely makes an impact on the movie. “Welcome to Singapore” is probably his best line (though I’ll fully admit that I’m biased) – pretty disappointing, actually.
– Mad props to the make-up and costume department. Anyone who can take a whole bunch of ordinary people and turn them into the most bizarre-looking creatures has my complete awe and respect. Davy Jones, Bootstrap Turner, Tia Dalma, Sao Feng and the entire crew of The Flying Dutchman are all excellent examples of brilliant make-up jobs.
– The story itself is alas, highly confusing and drags on for almost three hours. A Hindi movie goer like myself might have the patience to sit through that much, but what will become of the people accustomed to 2-hour long movies?
– Will and Elizabeth were boring in the first movie, boring in the second, and true to tradition, are boring in the third. I can’t bring myself to give a crap about them. Getting married in the middle of an apocalyptic fight? Whatever, man. (Like Phoebe would say, “Yup. I’m a hard-ass!”)
– Thankfully, there’s very little of the Elizabeth/Jack “romance” that plagued the second movie. Will and Elizabeth are boring, but Elizabeth and Jack are just icky. Bleargh.
– Way too much attention is paid to Elizabeth for my liking. Captain first and then Pirate King? Puh-leeze. The whole thing is a bit ridiculous. (Yes, I don’t like her, and no, I’m not jealous! Jeez!)
– Continuing with the ongoing movie tradition of killing off pretty characters after making the audience start to love them(what is wrong with these people?!), Will Turner gets bumped off in this one. Thankfully, he comes back. As Captain of The Flying Dutchman (who saw that one coming?!). Sans crusty barnacles and dried-up starfish sticking to his face. Phew.
– Since “ferries the dead across the river” is an oft-used phrase in the movie, can anyone remember which mythical figure it was that actually ferried the dead across the river? I seem to vaguely recall that a constellation is named after this guy, but for the life of me, I can’t remember his name. I spent quite a bit of time at the movie scratching my head over it.
– I’m also wondering where I’ve heard the name “Calypso” before (although in my head, it’s spelled “Callipso”). Speaking of whom, that whole angle is a big disappointment too. She gets freed and to unleash her destruction upon the people who imprisoned her, she creates a giant whirlpool? Um, ok. *snort*
– The supporting cast is awesome. In fact, I enjoyed them more than the regular cast. They add a very natural comic touch to the scenes, and they’re very believable in their roles. Kudos, ye supportin’ pirates!
So, all in all, good. Not great, not horrid. A movie-watch is definitely recommended, but it’s not worth a DVD buy.
Cap’n Lazy Gracey gives this one 3 pirate eye-patches out of a possible 5.