Pirates, ahoy!


Having just watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, the pirate in me (fondly known to some as Captain Lazy Gracey) has to say –

“Arr! Me eyeballs, they’re poppin’ outta ’em sockets, mate!”

(Spoilers for the movie follow, so if you’ve not watched it yet, I’d advice you to skip this post for the time being.)

– PotC3 is one of those movies that just screams “theatre-watch”. The action, the special effects, the costumes, the make-up and pretty faces blown up to huge proportions all make the movie nothing short of a visual treat. My eyes approve.

– Johnny Depp must’ve been a pirate in his previous life, because he’s just tailor-made for the role of Jack Sparrow. His relatively small screen-time in the movie (his first appearance is about half an hour into the movie) is sort of compensated by the presence of multiple Jack copies (all just as funny as the original) in quite a few scenes. A miniature Jack Sparrow hanging on to the beard-thingy of a life-size Jack Sparrow cannot not be funny.

– Keira Knightley generally annoys the hell out of me (and I realize this may be my “Hatred of Leading Ladies” syndrome speaking), but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t hold her close-ups really well. Girl’s got one of the cleanest, clearest faces I’ve seen in a while. Curses.

– Not to be outdone, Orlando Bloom cruises through the movie just as prettily, holding his close-ups just as well. And while I completely dislike long hair on men, I must grudgingly admit that Bloom rocks the haggard, long-haired, dirty-faced look. Damn those pretty men!

– Depp’s (or rather, his nose’s) close-up has the added advantage of freckles. And as far as I’m concerned, nose freckles = sexy! (And yes, there are an awful number of close-ups in the movie. The director sure made full use of his pretty cast, huh?)

– Tia Dalma’s accent is awesome, even if it is a bit hard to understand at times. (Bonus points if Naomie Harris has a completely normal accent in real life, which I’m sure she does.)

– Barbossa’s back, and he’s fantastic. Welcome back, mate!

– Much love for Davy Jones. Apart from having the prettiest blue eyes ever, his squiggly tentacles fascinate me endlessly. (Especially considering the actor who plays him looks like the most normal person ever.)

– Chow Yun Fat’s role isn’t really all that great, and it barely makes an impact on the movie. “Welcome to Singapore” is probably his best line (though I’ll fully admit that I’m biased) – pretty disappointing, actually.

– Mad props to the make-up and costume department. Anyone who can take a whole bunch of ordinary people and turn them into the most bizarre-looking creatures has my complete awe and respect. Davy Jones, Bootstrap Turner, Tia Dalma, Sao Feng and the entire crew of The Flying Dutchman are all excellent examples of brilliant make-up jobs.

– The story itself is alas, highly confusing and drags on for almost three hours. A Hindi movie goer like myself might have the patience to sit through that much, but what will become of the people accustomed to 2-hour long movies?

– Will and Elizabeth were boring in the first movie, boring in the second, and true to tradition, are boring in the third. I can’t bring myself to give a crap about them. Getting married in the middle of an apocalyptic fight? Whatever, man. (Like Phoebe would say, “Yup. I’m a hard-ass!”)

– Thankfully, there’s very little of the Elizabeth/Jack “romance” that plagued the second movie. Will and Elizabeth are boring, but Elizabeth and Jack are just icky. Bleargh.

– Way too much attention is paid to Elizabeth for my liking. Captain first and then Pirate King? Puh-leeze. The whole thing is a bit ridiculous. (Yes, I don’t like her, and no, I’m not jealous! Jeez!)

– Continuing with the ongoing movie tradition of killing off pretty characters after making the audience start to love them(what is wrong with these people?!), Will Turner gets bumped off in this one. Thankfully, he comes back. As Captain of The Flying Dutchman (who saw that one coming?!). Sans crusty barnacles and dried-up starfish sticking to his face. Phew.

– Since “ferries the dead across the river” is an oft-used phrase in the movie, can anyone remember which mythical figure it was that actually ferried the dead across the river? I seem to vaguely recall that a constellation is named after this guy, but for the life of me, I can’t remember his name. I spent quite a bit of time at the movie scratching my head over it.

– I’m also wondering where I’ve heard the name “Calypso” before (although in my head, it’s spelled “Callipso”). Speaking of whom, that whole angle is a big disappointment too. She gets freed and to unleash her destruction upon the people who imprisoned her, she creates a giant whirlpool? Um, ok. *snort*

– The supporting cast is awesome. In fact, I enjoyed them more than the regular cast. They add a very natural comic touch to the scenes, and they’re very believable in their roles. Kudos, ye supportin’ pirates!

So, all in all, good. Not great, not horrid. A movie-watch is definitely recommended, but it’s not worth a DVD buy.

Cap’n Lazy Gracey gives this one 3 pirate eye-patches out of a possible 5.

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6 thoughts on “Pirates, ahoy!

  1. Clueless June 29, 2007 / 11:53 am

    #Narayan,Hee! So like a guy to not be impressed with the Will/Elizabeth romance! But don’t worry, I wasn’t particularly pleased with that storyline either!Dood. Do not mock the accent. It was about the only thing I liked about the Calypso plotline! I thought Jack’s father was a bit of a waste too. What was the point? It could’ve used a bit of back story and it might’ve been very interesting, but as it stood, just a throw-away line seemed completely unnecessary. He’s got family…so what?

  2. Narayan June 15, 2007 / 4:23 am

    I was rather disappointed with the movie… Marriage when the ship was being sucked into a whirlpool as if it’s being flushed down a giant toilet and being overrun by fishey dead people = OH PLZ!!!Barbosa = priest.. me not likey at all… bloom * keira knightley, me definitely, definitely not likey(she looks good though 🙂 ) Way tooooooo many twists and turns, and calypso talks as if she was hit by a bus and then went mentally retarded….Chow yun fat; he kinda wasn’t needed.. The best part of the movie had to be Jack’s “How’s mum?” dialogue..5/10 FOR ME….

  3. Clueless June 9, 2007 / 6:02 pm

    #MG,Heh, yeah. I got the feeling you luuurved the movie! Calypso was a huge disappointment, agreed. I did like that Tia Dalma got a slightly bigger part to play in this movie than the others (love her accent!), but there was so much that could’ve been done with her! After so much of “Release Calypso!”, I expected something more than a whirlpool to happen after she was released. :/That last line is gold! Bwah! :D#Soleil,Johnny Depp is the best – I think we can all safely agree on that! 😀 Ha, and I did think it weird that Elizabeth and Will were able to share such a long kiss without getting gutted in the stomachs! Movie logic, yo (or rather, the lack of it :P).Oh, eye-guy and his friend were definitely my favourites too. So adorable and so much fun! I’ve seen the Visa ad, but never thought too much about it, heh. Didn’t stand out to me, but they were hilarious in the movie! :D#The Black King,Yeah, same here. Too many people double, triple-crossing one another for me to be able to keep track consistently. I, too, might need a second watch for the plot – I was too focused on The Pretty the first time around! ;)Oh, and thanks for the answer! Charon and the river Styx! I remember now 😀

  4. The Black King June 7, 2007 / 3:20 am

    The movie storyline sort of confused everything for me… need to watch it again sometime on DVD to understand the plot. BTW, answer to your question is here

  5. soleil June 6, 2007 / 2:08 pm

    Johny Depp was AWESOME! I love the way he says, “Savvy?” haha. The movie is totally worth the watch just for him. He just has all the mannerisms and expressions that make him a priceless pirate.Yes, Kiera has a flawless face. The make-up crew did a good job :p Damn she gets to kiss Orlando Bloom! I found it ironic that they were fighting so much while trying to say teh wedding vows but when it was time to kiss the bride, nobody attacked them! Let’s not talk about Chow Yun Fat. Way overated in the trailers. My next two favourite characters after Jack Sparrow are the pirate whose eye always pops out and his best buddy. It was hilarious when they tied themselves upside down to the mast! They provided much needed comic relief 🙂 Have you seen them in the Visa card advertisement on TV?I think cos the first 2 movies were so good, we were expecting so much from this one.

  6. Macho Girl June 6, 2007 / 1:46 pm

    I dunno abt u but i liked the movie very much. Yeah, everyone said that it was boring… the same old thing again for the third time n all… but considering the first 2 were so bloody awesome, i have grown to love the characters and loved the 3rd movie just as much! Just for ’em pretty people!!!! I was disappointed with calypso. After all the hype and all, all she does is create a whirlpool. And after all the davy jones loves calypso hype, all he does is mutter “calypso!” when it starts raining. I expected more romance between em! Overall, i think i’d give the movie a 4. But i must admit, i am biased. I love pirates and i love the cast! Depp is GOD!!!! Movie is worth the watch just for him 🙂 😀 And i lourve captain teague too!!!To err is human but to arrr is a pirate!

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