Whew, what a couple of weeks it has been. The past 14 days have been some of the most tension-filled, hectic times of my life. Yeah, I’m probably exaggerating, but suffice to say the last two weeks have been pure hell.
As proof, I present, my activities over the past couple of weeks. I enjoyed my birthday, the first day of mid-sem break. The next day though, MG and I were right back in Mugger’s Land (which is where, I’m convinced, I’ll spend the rest of my sad life, gah!). I saw more of the library during the one week of my mid-sem break (which, ideally, is supposed to be a friggin’ BREAK!) than I have in my stay at NUS so far. Day in, day out. Mug, mug, mug. Get out, eatlunch. Get back to library within half an hour and resume…any guesses? Yep, good job. Resume mugging. Bah.
In between all this, MG and I had to make time for Shabdam practices. Shabdam is an in-house concert that happens in the first semester of first year, and since MG and I were both participating, we had several practice sessions to cram into our schedule. The last Saturday of the mid-sem break was the concert, so the morning was completely spent in rehearsals and the evening went in dressing up for the occasion and the actual concert itself. It was a great success, so I guess I can’t crib much in that area.
The concert got over on Saturday, so guess what we were doing on Sunday? Yep, mugging. You’re clever!
Classes started again on Monday, and with it came chaos, desperation, tension and madness. That week, we juggled 2 heavy-duty Continual Assessments, one heavy-duty project protocol, another heavy-duty Statistics assignment (enough to drive anyone up the wall), 2 tiring days’ worth of 9am-6pm lab sessions (that included some gross rat liver mincing, ew!), late night study sessions, early morning classes, dance and music classes – all of which we managed to get through harbouring an unhealthy amount of frustration and bitterness. The week has passed, and I’m now faced with the prospect of a relatively free weekend, but pleasing as that thought is, the memory of “Those Horrid Weeks” are still fresh in my mind.
Do you ever get the feeling that whenever you make a resolution, the Big Guy Up There immediately throws something your way to test you? Cunning, he is. On my birthday, I made a resolution to stay cheerful and happy all year, come what may. You know, rainbows and sunshine, yada yada – and I’m convinced the past two weeks were created sorely to test my conviction. And I’m not really sure about how I fared. I grumbled a lot, spent my limited free time (times I was eating, drinking and generally not being immersed in lecture notes) complaining with my friends about how unfair everything in the universe was, felt the need to swear at innocent objects, felt resentful and depressed and then felt guilty about feeling resentful and depressed. Yeah, not exactly model behaviour after that promising resolution. (Don’t look at me like that! I’m not perfect, people!) But – and this is the important part – horrid though those days were, I did remember my resolution several times during the two weeks. And that’s saying something, considering I normally don’t even make resolutions, knowing full well that I’m going to break them the minute I create them. So the fact that I’m even *trying* to stick to the latest one is a huge deal. And it’s not just that I’m reminding myself about it every once in a while and feeling guilty. I’m actually, genuinely trying. Most times it doesn’t work, but the few times it does, I feel proud and accomplished.
I’m sitting here, writing out this post, and I realize that tough times do pass. No matter how freaked out you might be at a particular moment, there’s always going to be a point in the future when you think about it and heave a relieved sigh. Because things never stay too bad for too long – they almost always get better. It surprises me that I’m already past the two weeks now, and that even though I’m sure something horrible is looming around the corner to pounce on me and take me by surprise, I can put the thought of it behind sometime later. When tough times come a callin’, you’ve just gotta face it and keep moving. Keep moving, ‘cuz it’s the only thing that’ll get you out of the bad times.
And as much as it kills me to quote The All-American Rejects (seriously, what has the world come to?!), these particular lines perfectly sum up what I’ve been trying (very ineffectively) to say from the beginning:
“When all you gotta keep is strong,
Move along, move along, like I know you do.
And even when your hope is gone,
Move along, move along, just to make it through.”
The All-American Rejects to the rescue. Who woulda thunk? 😉