I hate moving. I hate to see the house all empty. I hate to see the carton boxes. I hate the tension and I hate the worry. And most of all, I hate the unpacking, the settling down. And I hate doing it over and over again.
I’ll admit it… I’m bitter. Its been more than a week since we moved into the new house, and I still haven’t gotten used to it. In fact, I’m beginning to think I don’t want to. I don’t know why, though. When the news first came, I jumped around in joy. Back to Bombay!!! (Somehow, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to call it Mumbai) The place I made my first good friends. The place I spent some of my happiest days. After two years in Trichy, arguably the most boring place on earth, I was ecstatic to be going back to place where everything was ‘happening’.
The happiness lasted a short while. Only to be replaced by a feeling of loss. I was going to be leaving my friends. Friends with whom I’d complained about almost everything. Friends I had shared lunch with almost everyday. I was bitter that I was the one who always had to leave. I was the one who had to make new friends. I was the one who had to start a new life.
I said goodbye to all my friends, forcing myself not to cry. I didn’t want them to realize just how much I’d miss them, probably because I felt they wouldn’t miss me as much. And I left.
Now, that familiar feeling of loss washes over me again. I miss my town. I miss my home. I miss my neighbours. I miss my friends. I miss not being able to talk to them everyday, not being able to make ridiculous jokes and laughing crazily with them. I miss me.
But in a little while, I’ll be over it. I’ll tell myself that I’ll make new friends. That in a few days, I’ll be doing everything I did before, only with new people. That it’ll be just as special, just as fun. Maybe it will be. Maybe it won’t. The fact remains that I can’t go back. Even if I could, it wouldn’t be the same.
I’ll adjust to my new life. And I’ll be okay. I’ll still cherish my wonderful times with old friends, and have wonderful times with new ones. I’ll stop hanging on to the past and look forward to the future.
And I know I’ll do just fine.